A Theological Journey, Our Experience Of The Charisma.

 

     I would like to tell a story of a pilgrimage down a road of theological understand and experience which if it were not for the fact that I experienced it first hand in my own life, I would say it could not be true. This is not because it falls out side of the realm of common “Evangelical”, “Orthodox” and “Christian” spiritual experience and theology, but rather because of my own life long predijuces and resistance to the very thing I ended up embracing. The following is the account of how a life long “providential cessationists” of Reformed theological orientation, who was chronically skeptical and critical of anything “Charismatic”, ended up becoming “Charismatic”. If you had told me a year ago as of the writing of this account that I would call myself a “Charismatic”, I would tell you that you were “crazy”, “nuts”, and I will not even go any further except to say “Etc. Etc.!” Some of my attitudes toward those who claim to exercise the extraordinary “charismata” of I Corinthians 12 & 14 only reflected my ignorance and denial of those things of the Spirit which I now clearly see are for the church today.  But as the Lord says in Isaiah 55:8 “But as For my thoughts [are] not your thoughts, neither [are] your ways my ways, saith the LORD.” This truth the Lord demonstrated to me in a very dramatic and powerful way, a little under a year ago. 

     I was converted as a 19-year-old rebel against my Holiness, Wesleyn Methodists upbringing. However I quickly gravitated into Baptist circles from which God called me to the Christian ministry.  While studying at Northeastern Bible College, I came under the influence of the ministry of a very capable well know Reformed Baptist pastor. It was because of his ministry that I began what has been for many years a general identification with Reformed Baptists. The 1689 London Confession has always been and still is my Confession of choice in Church planting, pastoral ministry, preaching, teaching and reference to broader doctrinal confession. 

     To fast forward my story, God gave to Johanne and I two beautiful daughters. Our youngest developed a condition call “Fibromyalgia” a very painful dehabilitating condition from pain in the soft fibrous body tissues of the muscles, ligaments, and tendons. She was of Charismatic orientation, not by our preference but we still were glad that she was attended church and walking with the Lord. While visiting a small Charismatic church in up state New York to hear a missionary from Mexico speak, the service ended with the invitation for any to come forward who was seeking healing. She went forward and he prayed and laid hands on her for healing. The next thing she knew, she found herself on the floor covered with a blanket with the feeling of a warm sensation in her body. In the mean time she and her husband began attending the Abundant Life Christian Center of Syracuse, NY, which is also charismatic. The first time my wife and I attended we were skeptical but when the pastor began to preach, I was very impressed with both his handling of the Scriptures and spiritual authority with which he ministered. Upon leaving we encouraged them to continue to attend the church. 

     When God touches the lives of those who are special and precious to you, you stand up and take notice. I had always been on the fence about the extraordinary gifts of “healing”, “tongues and their interpretation”, “miracles”, “prophecy”, and “word of knowledge”, mentioned in I Corinthians 12 & 14. If pressed on this question I would call myself a “providential cessationist” in that I could never go to the extreme of saying they had ceased and could never be manifested again. However, I was always very skeptical about all the claims of healings and speaking in tongues. This skepticism was reinforced in my mind by some of the bad theological baggage of  “health, wealth and prosperity” teaching along with other doctrinal differences that I always have had with the Charismatic wing of the church. Needless to say at times I was less than charitable in my remarks about them. But in spite of my “less than flattering rhetoric”, I was still uncomfortable with emphatic cessationism that puts God in a box claiming He will never manifest the extraordinary gifts again. I also was uncomfortable with a popular cessationist’s interpretation of the word “perfect” of 1 Corinthians 13:10, as referring to the completed canon of Scripture. I always regarded it as a forced interjection of something out of context to the verse. I have always held to the traditional and most contextual interpretation of the word “perfect” of verse 10 as referring to our state of perfection and glorification after death and/or the rapture at the second coming of Christ when we will behold Him “face to face” (1 Corinthians 13:12). 

     There was also another reason why I could not completely rule out the possibility of the manifestation of the miraculous gifts. For many years I have experienced the phenomena of dreaming things before they happened. They were usually confined to the narrower sphere of things happening in my own life and the immediate world in which I ministered and lived. I simply understood it as God’s special way of communicating in my life. I never put any Biblical context to it except to quote Matthew 2:12 & 22. It has been my first hand experience of this phenomena that made me suspicious of the anti-supernaturalism of cessationism in addition to it’s questionable Biblical bases. However, needless to say I have always been reluctant to speak about it to others outside of the immediate family for fear of the "eyes being rolled up into the sockets" reaction I would inevitably get. I still would not mention it, but for the fact that it has taken on the greater dimensions of being the exercise of the gift of “Knowledge” (1 Corinthians 12:8); and mentioned as one of the manifestations of the outpouring of the Holy Spirit upon the church (Acts 2:17). 

     Incidental, to the healing event in the life of my daughter, my dreaming began to take on a greater scope to include events in our world around us. Let it be sufficient to say, these revelations will only be divulged in a most confidential manner to those who have a sincere desire to hear them. The issues of the gift of “prophecy” and “knowledge” will be addressed in a separate treatment of these subjects to limit the scope of this testimony. It was the placing of my dreaming phenomenon into the Biblical context of the gifts of the Spirit that further moved me off my theological fence. After receiving confirmation from two different Reformed and Charismatic sources (http://charismaticreformed.org/) that indeed revelatory dreams do fall into the category of the gift of “knowledge”, I finally decided to speak to someone in the Charismatic camp who practiced these gifts.  

     Once again our youngest daughter and her church in Syracuse, NY come into the picture. I told Her that I would like to speak to someone on her church staff about my dreaming. She mentioned it to her district pastor and his wife who confirmed that it is indeed part of the gift of “knowledge”. But they also said I needed to receive the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, which I rejected outright. I was also told this by one of the Reformed Charismatic people that I had contacted. I was saved and received the Holy Spirit when I was born again, “there was no need of another anointing of the Spirit” I told my wife. We finally set up the appointment to speak with our daughter’s pastor and his wife about the gift of knowledge. This happened to be the weekend in which they not only had their regular Friday night teaching session but also a monthly Saturday Morning Prayer time. The Friday teaching cession was very good, but I really had my doubts about attending the Saturday morning prayer time. I told my wife, that I did not want to go because they would be “speaking in tongues” and we do not do that and that I would feel out of place. She said to me “we are here, lets take it all in, what harm can it be” at which I reluctantly agreed to attend. When we arrived in the sanctuary there were about 150 people in attendance and we sat toward the rear of the group. The service began with a few gospel songs and then the senior pastor got up and began to pray. About five minuets into the service he began to speak in tongues and give prophetic interpretation. It was like he was speaking to me. The next thing I knew, I jumped up and hollered out “God have mercy upon me and come upon me”! I ran down the row of seats toward the aisle and when I got into the aisle the Spirit literally threw me to the floor. I lay upon the floor confessing my sins, until I felt a peace come over me, upon which I was able to get up. I set in an adjacent chair just embarrassed and chagrined at what had happened to me. I set there in stunned silence until I finally got up and moved back to where my wife was sitting. She told me later that she was hanging on to her seat when the Spirit moved upon me wondering if He would move upon her like He did me. My first impulse after I had gotten up from the floor was to bolt for the door, because I was so embarrassed. Here I was a stoic, mature, older man of Reformed theological orientation on the floor of the aisle of a Charismatic church confessing my sins and asking the Holy Spirit to come upon me. I had no idea what transpired during the remainder of the prayer time, as I was so stunned. When the service ended I began to apologize to everyone around me for my outburst. One brother behind me put his hand upon my shoulder and said, “don’t worry brother, this frequently happens here.” I finally went forward to speak to the senior pastor and again apologize to him for my outburst. After a brief introduction all he said to me was “apparently God is dealing with you”. It was becoming quite obvious to me that I was not the first to be moved upon by the Spirit in such a manner in this church. But it was also quite obvious the Lord was not being “gentle” in the manner in which He was introducing me to something I had been resisting in my pride and unbelief all my adult Christian life. There is nothing quite like the experience of the Lord hitting you over the head with a spiritual “2x4”! My daughter put it quite accurately if not understating it, when she said to me “Dad, some times the Holy Spirit can be very uncomfortable and disturbing”. 

     To continue with my story, the next morning during the last of the three Sunday morning Worship services, we were to meet with my daughter’s District Pastor and His wife to discuss my dreaming. When we sat down with them in his office, I began by expressing my appreciation of the church and their ministry and their willingness to meet with us. Instead of talking about the gift of knowledge, he began by asking us if we have been baptized in the Holy Spirit. After yesterday morning’s experience, all argument and fight was gone from me, I responded by saying if God had more for us we were open to receive it. They spoke briefly about the Spirit’s Baptism and then both laid hands upon us, he upon me and his wife upon my wife. They prayed and prophesied over us for over a half-hour but nothing happened to us. Not being slain in the Spirit I was the previous morning, no speaking in tongues or any other outward manifestation of the Spirit’s Baptism. When the session ended my wife and I both apologized that nothing had happened. It did not seem to disturb them and they told us not to worry, that the Lord would reveal Himself to us in due time. We said our “good bye’s” and we went home the next day. 

     Back in Connecticut, we both began praying that God would reveal to us the meaning of all that had transpired over that past weekend and that He would manifest the Spirit’s presence in our lives. That Wednesday evening I went to bed while my wife was downstairs taking a shower. I waited and waited for her to come up and come to bed. I was just about ready to get up and check on her, when I heard her coming up the stairs. She went down the hallway past our bedroom and ended up in our back guest bedroom and I heard her stumbling around in the room. I was about ready to call out to her when she came into the room and got into bed all disorientated. She grabbed hold of me and was shaking all over. I asked what was wrong and what took her so long when she blurted out “I am speaking in tongues”, I said, “you are what?’ She said again “I am speaking in tongues”. She said she had been praying that the Lord would not pass her by in whatever blessings He might give us and the Lord seemed to say to her “just say some words and never mind what they sound like”. She did and other words began to well up and flow from with in her. In a few minuets she was uttering this language she never spoke before. She had all she could do to stop and find her way to come to bed. I finally said to her “praise the Lord, I am happy for you!” I then asked the Lord, “Lord will I also speak in tongues”? We finally fell off to sleep and about three in the morning I woke up. As I lay there, I began to pray for the Spirit’s manifestation in my life. I also just began to say some words as she did and from within me these other strange words began to flow out of me. First it was two words, then three words and then it began like a torrent. I began uttering a language that I had never spoken before which seemed to be some kind of Oriental tongue. They came right from my spirit, it was like my spirit was given another language with which to pray and speak. It was so uplifting and edifying, I was praying but did not know what I was saying yet I knew I was speaking to the Lord. I kept speaking until I prayed in my understanding “Lord, I have to get up and go to work tomorrow, I can’t keep this up”, at which point I finally stopped and went back to sleep. The next morning I got up and went through my usually “appliance repair man” routine which includes reading my Bible and prayer before I get into my service van to go to my first call of the day. I read the Word and then began to pray. I think I prayed five words in my understanding when I began to speak in tongues. I switched back and forth in understanding and tongues until I had to force myself to stop. All through the day I spoke in tongues. I would do a service call and as soon as I would get back into the van I would speak again. At one point I began to sing in tongues and sung until I recognized the tune which was the battle Hymn of the Republic, which I finished in my understanding. I also began to sing in tongues “Where he leads me I will follow”. 

     This began a time of spiritual joy and the sense of God’s presence that I have not had since the day I was first saved as a teenager. God’s Word has come alive afresh where many passages which I assumed were not relevant to me have become God’s precious promises; especially passages like Matthew 17:20 & 21; John 14:12-18, 15:16, 16:23-26. My capacity for the worship of God at times is so overwhelming that I have had to ask the Lord to stop, because my human frame could not take it. The sense of Christ’s love for me in his death upon the cross has again became so overwhelmingly real and precious. There are new revelations in tongues and their corresponding interpretation, in the Word and in my spirit that it seems as if I have been translated into another spiritual realm. Yet many of these revelations are nothing new as the Spirit many times just reminds me of old truths which I have not been focusing upon, such as the need of humility, faith, dependence upon Him and reconciliation in my life. The opportunities to witness on my job have became so numerous, I have make up personal cards to give to people and have opened up a web site (Graceplaceonline.net) as a means of follow up. I have had opportunities to pray for people’s healing, personal problems and their need of faith in Christ. In short it is as if I have been shot out of a Spiritual cannon and now am souring through the air. I do not want to come down but I know I will and am already. 

     We have also had our challenges and there has been a price to pay. Being Reformed and Charismatic and meeting our worship and fellowship needs is now a challenge, as most Reformed churches are cessationists and anti–Charismatic. Needless to say, we have met with a few raised eyebrows and frowns as we have shared our experience of the Charisma with friends, relatives and acquaintances.  However, we cannot and dare not be ashamed of God’s fresh manifestation of His presence and blessings in our lives. 

     We firmly believe that God is granting a fresh outpouring of His Spirit upon the church in preparation for what we will face in these days ahead. My wife and are so grateful that God in His mercy and providence did not pass us over in this fresh bestowing of His Holy Spirit upon His people. “In the last day, that great [day] of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. (But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet [given]; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.) (John 7:37-39)” 

Yours in Christ, 

Jim Wenger, 

October 2006

 

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